How Did I Get the Nickname Billy?

Around the office, you may hear some of the staff call me, Billy.

Sometimes, patients will ask me, “Who’s Billy?” And I’ll say, “Me!”

The next question is, “How did you get Billy, from Emilio? That makes no sense.”

Understandably, there is some confusion, since the Spanish translation of William is Guillermo. And Emilio, is translated, in English, to Emil.

Well, here it is. My embarrassing story, of how I got the nickname, Billy.

As everyone knows, my parents are from Cuba.

And when I was a kid, I had a massive BELLY BUTTON!!!

From what I’ve heard, it looked like I had this shoe growing out of my belly.

It was HUUUUUGGGGEEEE!

One of my mother’s friends, Mercedes, was giving me a bath and said to my mother, “Norma, this kid’s belly button is huge.”

My mom and Mercedes agreed that my belly button looked this comedian from Cuba, Pichilingo Mango Macho Del Omblingo Botado. He had a HUGE belly button.

(Say that name 3 times fast. Haha.)

My mom agreed that I my belly button reminded her of this comedians belly button, and my nickname from that point on became Pichi.

I agree, that comedians showing off their belly buttons, is very weird.

This was not a nickname designed to build self esteem. I remember asking my mom how I got my name. She would tell this belly button story, and I was like, well that’s messed up.

Oh well, its better than this guy that I knew whose nickname was Bubba. His real name was James or something like that… he told me his dad called him Bubba, because he was so ugly when he was born.

Well, Pichilongo became Pichi and then later evolved to Pili. And to this day, my entire family calls me Pili.

So, on my first day of kindergarten at Devonshire School in Skokie, Illinois my teacher, Mrs. Messer asked my mom, “What do you call him at home?”

My mom responded, in her broken English, “We call him, Pili.”

Then Mrs. Messer, hearing it as Billy, said, “Perfect, okay Billy, come over here.” I walked over and poof! BILLY was born.

So, now you know, my “Billy” story. But, I will not show you my belly button. Though, it is no longer an outie, but an innie.

I hope you enjoyed my embarrassing story and it helped you take your mind off of current events.

Floss like a madman!Emilio “Shoe Sized, Belly Button” Couret